Monday, June 8, 2009
When all I thot u came back,
to put a smile on my face..
I was wrong...
It was tears that u replaced...
Now u telling me to understand you,
for all you are busy with ur werk..
I tot u came back to ease thing off..
excuses u came out with..
Chasing our dream..
Was i too lean back?
Am i too clingy to u?
What will i do?
I've move on..
I dun wanna think anymore..
I dun wanna say anymore..
Let nature take it course
and let time settle everything..
my mouth are seal..
My heart is hurt...
and its bleeding..
only god u understand..
Why must i go thru all this?
Is this the test u put me on
before you can give me the happiness?
Oh God pls tell me now...
Labels: Life Is about Pretending, Life is unfair, love is really about sacrification, Love is Really ComPLicatTEd, there's more to life
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 6/08/2009 08:57:00 PM
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Its been two days since he is away..
I didnt hear his voice nor do i know whether he reached alredi not..
I called him but cant get thru...
was very sad...
its our anniversary yesterday, and sunday my bdae...
he wasnt there...
sad sad sad...
haiya... i miss him badly..
no one to fight with, no one to cuddle...
hmmm....
aniways, i didnt join singapore idol..
because i read the form it need commitment..
im having attachment..
my schedule tight..
i cant sia...
was down but no choice...
Labels: love is really about sacrification
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 6/06/2009 01:50:00 PM
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Well here i am updating my blog in the early morning..
I came to skol early coz he came and fetch me..
Not exactly came to my place..
Yesterday we fought..
Yet again..
All because of my fault..
He was very tolerant towards me..
I was having mood swings and to say a bad mood..
I came home yesterday with migrane and my home ppl gives me headache..
Eventually i throw my tantrum at him..
He was cool, understand me he calmed me down..
Then wen we hung up the phone cz he got to go i suddenly agitated..
Then i started scolding him bla bla..
I send him all my negative thots..
Then i went to sleep..
I wake up at 2 am realising he msg me he is otw to his fren place at PAsir ris..
I know this fren of his..
But when i tot he didnt msg me he reached there alredi,
i started got on my nerve..
I scold him,..
kept calling him...
in the end i use vulgarities on him..
I respect him and i NEVER use vulgarities if we are in serious conversation..
I told him to fuck off and stuff..
He got mad and said he did msg me his whereabout..
I checked my phone..
Yes he did..
i missed reading it..
We started argumenting alreadi..
He came down to my place..
Under my void deck..
Giving me 39 missed calls.
I was guilty..
I went to look for him under my void deck..
But i cant find him..
I was sad n his batt was flat..
I didnt sleep but to look out for him..
His bike is there under my void deck..
I saw it..
Thats why i wait..
Til 7 .40 am he called me..
I try to sort things out but i realised it was too late..
He is giving me his cold shoulders..
I love him so much that i cant bear things like this to happen..
I created the situation..
N i hate myself for it..
I am making up to him..
I have made a vow not to be a negative thinker..
Also i want to understand him as much as i do..
Giving him spaces and be positive abt everything..
I shoulnt be possesive..
I AM SORRY SWEETHEART..
I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
Labels: Guilty, love is really about sacrification, Love is Really ComPLicatTEd, There is always 2 side of story
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 5/21/2009 09:26:00 AM
Friday, May 1, 2009
Lately i thot a lot about breaking up with him.
i Just don't know why..
Is it that due to my love for him have fade away? (which i doubt)
Or is it due to our relationship has drifted far away?
or is it due to him neglect about me?
I dunno.. i am reli confused.
But here is my story...
He asked me to give him 2 months for him to prove himself.
I agreed and tried to understand him but he totally neglect me as his girlfren.
he dont confide in me. Im just like transparent to him.
He always wanted me to understand him but who to understand me?
Where was he when i wanted someone to talk to?
I did tried to talk things out.
Many times. But end up, i was shouted at, scold at, blamed at.
I keep it to myself, i pull it through coz deep down me i noe i love him.
I wanted to give him chance. End up I was the one tearing.
Where do i really stand?
After all that we went through what is it reli that matters to him?
I dunno.....
I'm CONFUSED..
Labels: Life Is about Pretending, Life is unfair, love is really about sacrification, Love is Really ComPLicatTEd
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 5/01/2009 08:11:00 PM
Saturday, February 14, 2009
I know its my fault..
i lied to you all this while..
But i didnt meant to..
All i want was you and nothing else...
I know my fault for doing this to you..
I love you and nothing else...
Its valentine day but we wasnt as happy as all other couples..
We were fighting from marina square to suntec..
I cried in public and what i got...
I dunno wat to say alredi....
whatever it is i love you...
Dun ever leave me...
You were so cold towards me...
Labels: Life is unfair, love is really about sacrification, Love is Really ComPLicatTEd, There is always 2 side of story
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 2/14/2009 10:20:00 PM
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Tell me something about life i dont know?!!! Aniways, i am having exams next week. both lab and practical. I think i am going crazy!!! urgh... God help me!!! & i am so unprepared. With projects to deal with. I think i am really going crazy!!! I cant wait for my projects to be over...
Why must my group be the last???
Yesterday had chingay..FUN!!! was dancing all the way and i finally get my steps. Saw Jo dance, she so SPORTS WOMEN..haha...Cynn was a fast learner, i admit that. Well for Shalu, she kept giggling....haha..you can really see them from far...aniways we are in BUTTERFLIES!!! and yes i am a loud haler...ouh god...
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GFs at Chingay '09
Aniways, i miss my bf. After a week not meeting him, i only got to meet him 2 hours yesterday.. I really want to be with him.. This is i meant by love is blind. No matter how much that person hurts you deeply, you will still love him and think of him. No matter how much you try to date new guys and getting to know new guys to forget him and overcome all that you feel for him and filled the emptiness that he left you with, his the only that you wished you will be sitting next with, cuddle u n put u to sleep. He will also be the one you wished who kissed you on ur forehead or ur lips saying how much he love you and misses you. After a year 5 mths together with him, its not easy to forget everything that we built. ITS NOT EASY. nobody can replaces him. I admit he is a bad guy. A VERY BAD ONE!!! but y him i still chose to be with. If only i were the old dian who loved to ditch and bastard guys, i will not be hesistant to just dumped him. OMG!!!! sometimes i wonder, why am i sooooo STUPID????
❤ is really really ❤
Labels: love is really about sacrification
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 11/30/2008 05:55:00 PM
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
i feel like dying now.... when i want to study my brain had some dysfunction... aiyo... next week is alredi my bio exam... SHEESSSHHHHH!!!i got 20 lectures to study but i am only at 4... OH MY!!!aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!GOD HELP ME!!!!aniways....i miss him(s) so much....ok ask me who....i miss my dear hubby... at the same tym my dear crushy...wakakaka.... NOTYGIRLS.COMi hav to wait til saturday to meet my hubby...he is having his night courses now til 26 Nov...then that tall fella, he is bz looking for a stable job...at the same time he lives far far away from me..extremely the other end... JURONG!!!!oh my.....i am so so so so so so so so so confused.... haha...shit!!!!!Labels: love is really about sacrification
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 11/11/2008 10:00:00 PM
Friday, November 7, 2008
out of nowhere he msg me this
"I am watching a show at suria..the show is very cute you know"and let me tell you this.. he never before msg me like this
unless if he wants me to watch the show but that also he will say
it in another way..so i ask him who actuali u msg. he kept quiet
at first den he said he msg me cz he wants me to watch the show.
then i sae oh really? den he say why am i like this like not trust
him that he really msg me.. let me tell you this ok ..
i know you for years and i know you too well to understand u..
i didnt just born yesterday..and obviously i noe you are lying
by the way u talk to me.. and also u should understand y i am
like this cz u cheated on me many tyms before. do you expect me
to TRUST you WHOLE-HEARTEDLY within short period of tym?
do u expext me to really forget abt what hppn and trust you..
you know yourself better that it took tym for me to heal..
not once, not twice not thrice but many tyms u cheated behind my
back and i gave you chances to prove urself but i told you that i cant
forget it immediately and it will took to tym to gain the trust from u
back.. u just dont understand do u? u want me to understand u, but do
u reli understand me.. about what i am gng thru and what u did to me?
but after all that, i try to understand you no matter what..
i love you even more than i could think of or feel for..
i just dont know why i love you this much...Labels: love is really about sacrification
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 11/07/2008 10:38:00 PM
