Sunday, July 19, 2009
Yesterday, went to club at POWERHOUSE..
woohoo..
Me, tina and chris..
Free entry for tertiary students before 11..
and the music is RNB hIP hop by DJ KAZEE..
damn fun la..
at first not la..
drink JOHNIE WALKER BLACK LABEL
for FREE!!!
with coke of course..
Celebrate tina bdae!!!
n she was OMG!!!
its a secret..
i dance like nobody business..
with everyone around me...
wooooooo....
then when we go backto our seats, Tina drink the liquor..
and she broke the glass on my legs lor!!!
damn sad la..
but i was fine..
i was drunk at first but managed to control
and was fine..
until TINA MADE EMBARRASSMENT ON HER BDAE..
hahaha..only i know with CAVEN...
hehe..
had lotsa fun..
love tina n chris...
weee
Labels: if only u knew, Life Is about Pretending, there's more to life
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 7/19/2009 08:03:00 PM
Thursday, July 16, 2009
actually i wanted to blog about my class..
bitch about them but now i dun have the heart to..
my mind is elsewhere..
went to watch obsessed with JO & SHALU..
great show..
GIRLS POWER!!!
see when u love someone, u will go to all the extent..
aniwaes, back in bus, i was crying like nobody business..
everyone have problems, either big or small..
i seriously dunno hw u judge it..
but ITS HOW YOU HANDLE IT!!
GODDAMN IT!!!
haix..
i was hiding all my sadness from my frens..
i dun want them to see me sad..
i smile, i laugh, i crack stupid jokes, irritate ppl,
just to forget my problems a while..
i ttried to hide it..
i wonder..
why when coming to our yearly anniversary surely we are on separation mode?
i try to be strong, change my mentality..
i know im a bitch, i was wrong..
i cried in the bus after the msg he sent me..
i think its the best solution..
i respect ur decision..
i was helpless..
lotsaa things run into my head..
gods knows seriously..
u said move on , where do i go?
ouh god..tears roll down my cheek while im typing..
is this a test that you put me thru?
those days were to good to be gone..
God, why are u testing me this way?
i dunno how long i can hold on..
god give me strength..
im thankful for my fren who has always being there for me..
but somehow, i rather be alone..
i wish i can scream..
i can hit someone...
haix..
i better get going..
need to puff a few cigg..
i need to cool down..
put my mind at ease..
Labels: Life Is about Pretending
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 7/16/2009 07:18:00 PM
Its 2 plus in the morning.
yet me cant sleep.
hmm....
just nw unintentionally met him..
cz got prospect..
then we r like strangers..
its ok..
Dee is strong to pull thru..
anyways, hate my group blog..
very wordy..
but satisfied though..
my hardwork sia..
aniwaes, miss him alot..
wish i can cuddle him..
urgh..
God gave me strength..
its all about ur thinking dee..
haix..
so down..
today my last presentation for the week.
my heart is at ease..
finally...
next week my attachment..
wil be busy..
wont be updating blog..
wont be meeting him..
for a month..
urgh its ok..
niwe, just nw i cried inside train..
i dun noe y..
thanks shalu, jo n all for the care & thots..
hope everything gonna be fine soon..
praise to allah.
i oso have something to blog about my class tmr..
not now..
now my emo mood..
mix with my angry mood..
everyone gonna die!!!
sweet dreams to me..
Labels: Life Is about Pretending
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 7/16/2009 02:23:00 AM
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Right now u are at home, having u good sleep..
while im here crying n fixing the broken heart...
we watch transformer and i was crying throughout the whole show..
i was cold but u couldnt care to even hug me..
u didnnt even bother to talk to me since we met..
only necessary questions n thats it..
i couldnt be mad cz i know i was wrong..
i knew u r very angry n sad..
but i was disappointed that u did this to me..
n wen i decided to go home on my own,
u blame me everything..
i knew i only give u problems..
i knew u were too good for me..
i dunno wat to say...
maybe it is best for us be at distance now..
im so sorry..
Labels: Life Is about Pretending, Love is Really ComPLicatTEd
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 7/14/2009 08:47:00 PM
Friday, July 10, 2009
hey im back babes...
long time from my entry...
its been a while since i spent tym with him..
only us together go dating..
long long time..
haix...
then when i check his phone lots of girls no..
i dun wanna noe...
i oso dun noe wat to think...
but he swear beg at me saying he didnt do anything stupid..
i dunno all this empty saying..
haiya..
anyways lotsa problem at home..
i cant stand a sight at home..
i feel like crying and swearing..
i dont understand..whatever i did all wrong..
they swear on me say im useless la..
no point being a girl..
i dunno la...
when whatever i did is all for them ...
when i run away i dun wanna let anyone noe...
no one..
at all...
i feel like standing on top of mountain..
AND SCREAM ON TOP OF MY FUCKING LUNG!!!!!
UUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!
ok dee, take a deep breathe in,
out, breathe in, out..
relax..
and smile!!!!
haiya..
SMILE!!!
Labels: Life Is about Pretending, Life is unfair
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 7/10/2009 10:16:00 PM
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
hey guys..
sad sad sad life..
i went to hard rock cafe yesterday..
had dinner and watch kumar performed..
he damn cute and funny..
he reli hmm chinese..
hahaha..whtever..
you watch him non stop u must laugh..
but u must be singaporean to understand his comedy...
went home..
fight with him..i was drunk..
so be it...
then now i am not talking terms with him...
i dunn wanna talk about him..
live life fullest..
hehehe..
chiow!!!
doing group meeting now!
Labels: Life Is about Pretending, Love is Really ComPLicatTEd
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 6/16/2009 01:25:00 PM
Monday, June 8, 2009
When all I thot u came back,
to put a smile on my face..
I was wrong...
It was tears that u replaced...
Now u telling me to understand you,
for all you are busy with ur werk..
I tot u came back to ease thing off..
excuses u came out with..
Chasing our dream..
Was i too lean back?
Am i too clingy to u?
What will i do?
I've move on..
I dun wanna think anymore..
I dun wanna say anymore..
Let nature take it course
and let time settle everything..
my mouth are seal..
My heart is hurt...
and its bleeding..
only god u understand..
Why must i go thru all this?
Is this the test u put me on
before you can give me the happiness?
Oh God pls tell me now...
Labels: Life Is about Pretending, Life is unfair, love is really about sacrification, Love is Really ComPLicatTEd, there's more to life
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 6/08/2009 08:57:00 PM
Sunday, June 7, 2009
here i am today updating my blog...
It is my Birthday today...
one yr older...
Makes me look old sia...
I didnt even celebrate with mt family..
They just wish me...
anyway...
Yesterday went out dating with Tina...
I would like to call it a VISA day..
We went to watch DRAG ME TO HELL..
Good show sia, pretty scary..haha..
Ok I paid by visa coz book online mah...
Back to where i was, Tina was closing her ears all the way..
some scene are unexpected..
Cool...LAMIA..
haha... then we went shopping..
at clubmarc..
Crazy sale sia..
Only 15 bucks...
I paid by VISA again...
hehe...i bought a blazer (coat)..
Finally..
Then we go dinner...
We cant decide where to eat..
at fisrt we wanna eat seoul garden,
then not too hungry we decide to changing appetite..
but was packed and queue is long..
so we decided to eat at Carls Junior or burger..
I dunno..my mind in A mess..
aniways that oso i paid by VISA...
and this tina..
she very cute..
she went to buy food for so long..
i was wondering where she..
then she came by with a stalk of rose..
she told me the fella give her..
and she's giving it to me..
i BELIEVED her sia..
end up she went to buy the flower first
then come to buy food..
how sweet of you..
thanks baby
god save me sia..
go home very tired, leg aching..
hehe..
Then i was waiting for my bf to call..
Not even a msg, maybe no reception..
But my bdae nt even a wish sia..
if u phone got no reception, got Hotel telephone ma..
It only cost 2 ringgit plus..
i was very down and sad..
seriously...
but all my lovely frens and cousins msg me wishing my bdae..
thank you pepz..
i love you guys for remembering..
muacks..
Labels: Life Is about Pretending, There is always 2 side of story, there's more to life
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 6/07/2009 12:03:00 PM
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Sometimes, when things u really wanted you wont get it.
Then most of the tyms wen ppl dun want somthing but they got it..
and ppl who badly wants it, yet dun receives it..
Life..
honestly i am so disappointed..
I cried wen i look at it..
I just cant seem to understand..
What went wrong??
I dun understand..
I cried and cried...
I felt like as though a knife pierce thru my heart...
But what can i do??
Its fated...
Labels: l, Life Is about Pretending, Life is unfair
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 5/19/2009 10:57:00 PM
Friday, May 1, 2009
Lately i thot a lot about breaking up with him.
i Just don't know why..
Is it that due to my love for him have fade away? (which i doubt)
Or is it due to our relationship has drifted far away?
or is it due to him neglect about me?
I dunno.. i am reli confused.
But here is my story...
He asked me to give him 2 months for him to prove himself.
I agreed and tried to understand him but he totally neglect me as his girlfren.
he dont confide in me. Im just like transparent to him.
He always wanted me to understand him but who to understand me?
Where was he when i wanted someone to talk to?
I did tried to talk things out.
Many times. But end up, i was shouted at, scold at, blamed at.
I keep it to myself, i pull it through coz deep down me i noe i love him.
I wanted to give him chance. End up I was the one tearing.
Where do i really stand?
After all that we went through what is it reli that matters to him?
I dunno.....
I'm CONFUSED..
Labels: Life Is about Pretending, Life is unfair, love is really about sacrification, Love is Really ComPLicatTEd
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 5/01/2009 08:11:00 PM
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
well, halo everyone...
just an update... GOTCHA'
btw i am bored... thats y i am typing...
its my rest day at home... my only day at home...
i am lying down and gave myself a big tot...
sometimes i wonder, why do people have weird perception about network marketing?
why people always have this stereotype thinking?
"ouh door-to-door" sales, "ouh need to find people", "ouh its a pyramid system"
(pyramid is a system whereby the people above us earn more than us when we do more job)
hmm..i dun mind all those tots...
to be successful,
u dun have to take into heart what people said, take it as a point of learning
then when i said about the product,
they said, "its about ourselves", "so good meh?", "i hear the same stories la", well i dun care what u think, i got proved, my product is patented, it has 3500 clinical reports...
and all my intention is to help those who really need it..
why not, if cancer patient of stage 4 can be cured and the condition improved, and so does stroke people can move, Diabetes people improved the sugar level in blood and many more, y take the risk to scared and be so negative about it...
it really is...
i am just sharing, is not as though i am forcing you to buy my product or join me a business partner, you have ur own choices, i am just sharing with you...
the rest is up to you..
LIFE IS ABOUT CHOICES,
your choices,
btw if u wanna know what i am doing, send me comment ya
or email me...
(to know my email comment me)
i will share with you , the rest is up to you...
Labels: Life Is about Pretending, Life is unfair, There is always 2 side of story, there's more to life
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 3/18/2009 06:03:00 PM
Friday, January 23, 2009
After soooo looooong i didnt blog....
many things happen recently that creates a lot of downfall...
My father passed away last week...
it happened to soon and to complex..
.it just tym for him to go..No one would expct it so soon..
But wen i see his dead body i cried and cried...
it just so pity and and indonesia mortuary arent like mortuary at all..
i can still feel his presence here in this house..his last words for me is to keep quit smoking..
and i am very am gng to quit smoking...
no one knew how much pain i am gng thru..
especially seeing my mum emotional breakdown..cz she always depend on him..
and now he go left my mum alone handling all the problems..
i tried to ease my mum burden trying to be there for her..
i noe all she need me to be there for her..
i know that she also wants to be heard to be loved for now
she had no one except her children..
i pity most my two young brother..they didnt know anything..
nothing at all..
yet they keep asking abt his dad every night...
my mum pray every day and night..she need to be strong..
ma no matter what happen i love you soo much...
now me and my sister are doing all we can to ease our family financial...
i really hope i can do this..no one can really know what is inside me..
i wish i can help my mum as much as i can..
Labels: Life Is about Pretending, Life is unfair
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 1/23/2009 02:19:00 PM
Friday, December 26, 2008
Hola.....I'm back...
Well actually not, but i decided to drop by today..
Because i've not been Blogging....
When I am doin nothing....
Well, Btw bz with Skol and Chingay and ESSAY (1500 words=sucks)
Very tiring with life....
Especially my family...
I just hate them to cores...dont ask me y...(too many reasons)
However, i'm getting BETTER with BF...
well,honestly lately we've been the craziest...
NO NO NO..not mushy2x but like gangster you know what i mean..
We bullied each other and call each other just to say "WHAT IDIOT!!!"
if we met up, i will beat him, smack him, spank him *wink* & pinch him
then he will scold me, nag at me and pinch me too..(he dun dare beat me)
haha...well, cz i HATE my FAMILY!!!!!!!! to the CORES!!!!
❤ did i just say me and BF getting better??? *wink*
Labels: Life Is about Pretending, Love is Really ComPLicatTEd
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 12/26/2008 07:19:00 PM
Sunday, December 21, 2008
well, recently i did not blog so much...
i just had no mood to talk...
ask me why...
too many things have been going thru my mind..
and i dont know how to put it at ease...
everything seems to be falling down...
and i seriously hate to stay at home facing all the crisis and dilemma that going on in here.
then i cant stand the sight of someone i dun like at home...
so far i did not mention..
i hated my stepdad for so long...
and each day it just grew stronger..
and its like a burden to carry those anger and hatred in me..
its really a burden i swear..
i try to give in to him, listen to wateva bullshit he said or whatever
but notink i do can meake me happy.
coz wateva i did neva seems to make him happy.
but i just had to hold on because of my mom.
i dun want my mum to always be in the middle.
i pitied her.
she always had to act as a mediator.
urgh. its been 9 years they got married
and their marriage is just worthless.
They owned it up too. All he lives is in LIES.
thats y i hate him. He always think that he is right.
When he is always wrong. I dun wanna talk about him.
Cz i just never seems to like him.
Labels: Life Is about Pretending
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 12/21/2008 07:03:00 PM
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
sometimes you just dont need
to let anyone noe that you are sad...
sometimes you just need to
hide those feelings of fears, lost and confused..
you just have to pretend to cover
those scars that tearing apart in ur heart..
you just have to laugh and smile
to the extent that nobody noticed that deep inside u,
what you really feel about you and your life...
though you cried til you cant open your eyes..
cause when all things matter,
only you know what's deep down in you..
just
pretend everything's okay,
hold back the tears and just Walk away quietly
Labels: Life Is about Pretending
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 12/10/2008 11:15:00 PM
