Saturday, September 13, 2008
We used to fight and argue about him contacting with other girls. He promised me not to contact with other girls caused he DON'T allow me to get in touch with my guy frens..so fair isnt it? then behind my back when we had wars for straight days in a month, he look out for other girls. Is he getting prepeare to dump me or is he just wanted someone to turn to? Or he just wants to revenge? Or have FUN?? i don't know.. Lots of excused he gave me. yes i know he dont want to lose me. But why must he do this to me?? What wrong have i done to him?? I asked him all this question but all he said was i did not do wrong..So why must he do this to me? I have given him almost everything, my love, care, concern, money, ALL but does he appreciate it?? I even sacrificed everything for him. He knows it very well. He even said it. I am not saying i am good. I know i am not good enough for him. I still weakness. But yesterday he msg a girl saying his bored. When i was msging him. Oh my.. Am i a boring person? I know i am not caused i had a bubbly character i always talk non-stop and i always never fail to make him smile and laugh. I know i am a talkative person but I had my quiet times.. He knows it very well.. But what have i done so wrong that i have to be punished liked this when i really love a person. Maybe because of my past misakes. Lot of guys loved me sincerely but i treat them like a dirt and i fooled around their feelings. MAybe this is the karma that i got. Oh god! he lied to me and disappoint me. Always. I push me up and he is the one who pulled it down and tearing it into small little pieces. I always cried when i thought about this. Now he like dont care anymore. Not dont care about me but dont mind my nag and scold that i throw on him. Caused he knows that i will forgive him and will give him chances to prove it to me again. He knows now that i dont trust him. But believe it or not, after what h elied and done to me i still trust him and believe him. Letting him have his freedom and everything. Cause maybe now i Dont wanna care anymore. I just told him this, dont do things that really make my blood boiled caused eventually he will lose me somehow. If he doesnt not appreciate all the things i done for him and if he dont love me anymore then be honest and open to me say it to me rather then you lie and you pretend to love me. when you are not. I know i scared to lose him. I know it all but I have to know also that somehow i will LOSE HIM..
? . kiss my smoky lips baby 9/13/2008 09:01:00 PM
